Friday, September 5, 2008 @ 1:31 PM



OSTRACISM

Ostracism is more powerful now than ever because people have fewer strong family and friend support systems to fall back on when faced with exclusion in relationships. It is one of the most widely used forms of social punishment, and some see it as more humane than corporal punishment, as when used in a time-out, but there is a deeper psychological impact that needs to be taken seriously.

If people are physically or verbally abusive, they can be punished. But it's hard to punish someone for not making eye contact or ignoring another person.

If the person is confronted by asking, 'Why are you not talking to me?,' the person can easily deny the accusation. If a person reverts to using the silent treatment, then he or she will say, 'I can't talk to you right now, but we will talk tomorrow.' " & say the same thing again the next day.
The people who are ostracizing often feel a strong sense of belonging with each other, as well as feeling empowered. Once they want to ostracize a person, they will influence the people around them do the same thing. People who are excluded react one of two ways. The most common reaction is to try to improve a person's characteristics or behavior so they are included or fit in. Or, people who are excluded frequently become destructive and vindictive. They would do things to spite others on purpose and would feel joy when they see the people ostracizing them get punished. People who are ostracized would usually try to gain the attention of his peers by showing off or doing things that others find wierd or hateful.

The lives of people being ostracized consisted of being alone all the time. When they were alone, other people will make fun & talk about them behind their backs. When they tried to make friends (by sitting with them during lunch breaks etc,) the group he is trying to be friends with will usually turn quiet & move away from that person as discretly as possible so that it wont look like they are together, or try to act friendly to that person & start talking about them once they ve left .

It's devastatingly painful, the loneliness they feel. Not being able to interact with anyone else your age is a tough thing, you don't develop your social, group, or communication skills when you don't have the opportunity to practice. And that ripple effect is hard to make up.

Sometimes they couldn't hold it in any more and they would just cry, alone so nobody could see . When other people are around them, they would act like they dont mind being alone & in fact prefer to be alone. This is all an act- humans are born to socialise with other humans. Which person do not want someone to be there for you, to share your joy or sadness.? To be accepted into the crowd, fit in with the others, not to be shunned or talked about behind your back all the time ? There may be the thought on suicide once or twice. Thought about how they'd do it but wouldn't get to the point of setting it up. -which is why they slash their wrists.

Being bullied is painful. It's not a short term pain either. It's something that stays with you. It's something that does damage. And it's damage that's hard to repair.

/& if you didnt know it ; you know now .

HENCE , THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING FRIENDS :


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