Sunday, September 28, 2008 @ 7:22 PM

Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special !)

On a bar of Dove soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(The big head or the little head?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(but wont that save more time ? -.-)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(duh!)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(im glad they cleared that up.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning ?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy.)

now we know why humans are stupid. :D